PR: Auf Wiedersehen!

We has a sad.

Damn. We really liked her. We thought she had way more to say than a Heatherette queen and a ... well, we don't know WHAT Casanova is yet.

At first, when she was getting camera time, we wear all "Oh, good. We've been wanting to hear more from her." That was followed by "Winner's edit?" which was quickly followed by the crashing realization that she was getting the loser's edit.

We were yelling at our screen, "Sarah! Forget the fricking palm tree! Move on, girl! It'll be the DEATH OF YOU!" We realized at this point that we sounded a little like Piper Laurie in Carrie. "THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU LAUGH AT YOU LAUGH AT YOU." Then we thought how great it would be if Piper Laurie could be a guest judge and do the whole thing in character as Carrie White's crazy mom. "The fit around her dirty pillows is sinful!"

Our minds tend to wander sometimes, kittens.

Model: Samantha

So yeah. Sarah made a shitty dress, you guys.

To her eternal credit, she knew she made a shitty dress. What killed us, was...

...she knew VERY early on that she was making a shitty dress and yet she didn't seem to make any effort to course correct. It was like she felt she was destined to make a shitty dress.

We don't know, it was tough to watch. We admit, we got a little middle-aged on her ass.

"Look, Hipster Girl," we said to the TV screen, "Put aside the wry cynicism and ironic detachment for ten minutes. It's cute for a while, but then our sinuses block up and we get raging headaches. What you need to do is SNAP OUT OF IT. Admit that you're screwing up and then STOP SCREWING UP."

It's really true. We're like little old ladies, getting caught up in our "stories."

Or like sports fans yelling their favorite punching bag into scoring. Darlings, aren't we all just the same deep down? Hug.

As you may have noticed, we've offered little in the way of critique with this post, instead opting to go off on tangents and flights of fancy while closeups of the garment flash before your eyes.

There's a reason for that, you know.

It's because this garment's suckitude was self-evident. You can see it at first glance. The judges all saw it, the designer saw it, and we're pretty sure the model saw it. It was a big pile of suck.

"Well Michael, I think this 1-inch square section right here probably sucks the least."

But once again, we disagree with the judges. This dress was miles of suck, but she knew it and that goes far with us. Nothing worse than a delusional designer defending a disaster as if it was misunderstood genius.

And also, we just thought her earlier work was strong enough for consideration. She has a voice and a point of view that interests us much more than A.J.'s party monster aesthetic and Casanova's nouveau riche tacky. She done screwed up, but we still would have kept her in a little longer.




Extended Judging:


Under the Gunn:

[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com - Video Credit: myLifetime.com - Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke/myLifetime.com]

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