Emo Kid Depression Is Incurable

For some Emos, depression is a way of life rather than an actual illness. The mere thought of being happy makes these people sick to the stomach. They’ll refuse to take their anti-depressants. They’ll watch weepy films where the old senile woman ends up shooting her 12 cats. They’ll listen to My Chemical Romance on repeat with no sense of irony.

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Even if an Emo is feeling ecstatic, they’ll try their utmost to contain their emotions. In such situations they’ll harm themselves by kicking their own legs off, smashing their heads off or through television sets or slam their arms shut in car doors.

Unfortunately if you refuse to pay attention to the Emo, their attempts to gain your attention will grow ever more desperate. I’ve seen an Emo girl repeatedly stab herself in the tongue with a plastic fork. I had to wrestle her to the ground, grab the fork off her and call the police to report the incident.

She then preceded to collapse into a fit before her purse hit the ground and out dropped around 150 razors and some bloody Snoopy bandages. In a last ditch attempt to cause herself some serious harm, she rolled about on the ground, frantically trying to slice herself on the blades. It was pathetic. I’ve seen dogs high on speed more that have been more responsible and functional than her.

The bitch tried to take me to court for apparently “Violating her right to be miserable”. What sort of nonsense is this? I was trying to save her tongue. She could have put my eye out! What sort of retard tries to stab their own face out in public anyway with a plastic fork? It’s indescrible.

It’s a perfect example too of why Emo Depression won’t go away until the Emo abandons The Church Of Peter Wentz. Otherwise they are doomed forever.