How To Make An Emo Laugh How To Make An Emo Cry Alternative Ways To Kill Yourself Prepare Your Own Emo Funeral A Day In The Life Of An Emo

1. Mail him your dirty underwear and force him to sniff it, otherwise you’ll beat his crap in.
2. Learn to recite the entire lyrics of the ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’ album in one sitting. After you’ve finished this, smash yourself over the head with a glass vase and scream “We’re all doomed!”
3. Dress up as his late grandmother and make unintelligible sexual threats towards him. If he fails to make a sexual advance towards you, smash everything in his room up. Put his credit cards through the shredder. Take a dump in his Xbox. Cut up his beloved family photos.
4. Tell him that you’re really a transexual and that you still have all of your man bits left in tact. Since all Emo Men are gay, he’ll be utterly compelled by this revelation and will lust for your horn, like a mouse lusts for cheese.
5. Bite your own tongue off and throw it at him like a tiny parcel of mince meat.