Fashion Model: The Accessories Wall: Spring 2011 Shoes

Suitable for kicking a man in the throat when he's done you wrong.

Unborn fawns, we are still trying to get our batteries recharged after an all-night session of Mad Men blogging. So before we get to the next PR post or the next scintillating discussion of what the latest starlet did wrong on the red carpet, let's all meet up for lunch and look at shoes.

There's only so much you can do with the basic high-heeled shoe and the last ten to fifteen years have been all about designers just fucking around with the elements, trying to see what'll stick. The results have been varied, going from breathtakingly beautiful to clumsy-looking to downright dangerous. You'll see largely the same story playing out with the Spring '11 shoes. Some are pretty, some are inelegant, and some look like torture devices.

The two trends going on right now are straps and chunky heels, with an occasional wedge thrown in for spice. We're not fans of the (relatively) low chunky heel. If you're going to go low, then the heel looks better tapered, in our opinion. And if you're going to go chunky, then you should be prepared to be one of the taller gals in the room. That's just us, though. As for straps, we're all for them. The ankle ties are more than a little impractical but we can't help loving them. One thing we DON'T love and will likely NEVER love are those weird open-toed bootie/sandal hybrids, which are an affront to nature and everything God intended in shoe design.

Since this blog was founded on the principle that opinions are like assholes, tell us your favorites among the pack and tell us which ones you wouldn't accept money to wear.