Work of Art: S1E5 Part 1

What the--?

Okay, first up: ew. Corporate sponsorship is a necessary evil with these types of reality competitions, but producers, find a better way to integrate it because the overt commercialism of this challenge was really kind of nauseating when imposed on art. Yes, it's an art game show and doesn't approach the heights of the "real" art world, but still. "Create a work of art based on your Audi experience?" Gross.

And the staging! Simon oohing and aahhing over the canyons of Manhattan like some first-time tourist was just ridiculous.

Best dressed reality judge on TV. Nina, you better step it up.

Especially when she wears the same Marc Jacobs dress you wore last season and (don't hit us, Nina!) Looked better than you in it. That gauntlet has been thrown down and we fully expect some Devil Wears Prada-type getups from Ms. Garcia in the coming season. Don't disappoint us, chica.

The guest judge was artist Richard Phillips, who was harsh and bitchy in his critiques, for which we don't blame him because there was some embarrassingly bad art in that gallery.

There was also a river of bullshit flowing through it, which the judges all lapped up with a spoon.

And then there was this jackass:

"The place is so overstimulating. There's just so much going on." Translation: "I fear I'm not getting enough camera time so it's time for me to do something that says "crazy artist." Hey Miles. Come back to us when you cut off an ear, otherwise stop wasting everyone's time with this obvious camera-whoring.

Alright, let's look at some bad art.

Top Two

WINNER: Jaclyn





Oh, PLEASE. When she can't figure out a way to work her own body into her art, she flips it around and makes it about men staring at her body. The idea that all those men were probably looking at the show room filled with a television crew and bright lights curiously never comes up. And what the hell did this have to do with whatever the hell "the Audi experience" is, anyway?

Look, it's a tiny bit interesting and she's saying something interesting with it, but it's still all about Jaclyn and her hot body, which is getting increasingly annoying.

Miles:

We'll give you a title: "Bullshit."


Enh. We get what the judges were saying about creating a space and drawing the viewer in, but they're so clearly in love with Miles' image. It reminds us of the time Nina said in an interviewer that she loved Daniel Vosovic because he looked like what a designer should look like, in her eyes. Miles has them all so enthralled, that they'll praise 2x4s and concrete assholes. They should be embarrassed.

To be fair, the picture is somewhat arresting, and the arrangement does, in fact, create a space for the viewer, but we still think the whole thing was bullshit.


BOTTOM 3

Ryan:
Okay, that title is lame as hell. It sounds like a compilation of '70s Soul hits.



We really like Ryan and we like his work, but his shortcomings were laid bare on this one. "I wanted to look cool." Really? That was the whole point to you? That's pretty juvenile. We realize that he had artist's block and that can be a pain in the ass, but this was really low on any sort of meaning and failed to provoke any sort of reaction or emotion. It's just another of Ryan's self-portraits. They've all been using themselves in their art, but Ryan's really been going overboard. Sure, he photographs well and he looks good, but all that means is he's basically the male Jaclyn and we think he's got more to offer than that.

Mark:



Peregrine (and can we say we kind of love her low-key wackiness?) nailed it when she said this looked like hotel art. Richard nailed it when he said it was painterbation and that there was no place for the viewer in his process. It was all about him painting and painting and painting. Details that only he could see or interpret.

We could be wrong, but we think he's got an expiration date on him. He doesn't seem to impress the judges and his work is, well...kind of pedestrian and flat.

ELIMINATED: Jamie Lynn

And speaking of expiration dates, poor Jaime Lynn's came due. Who didn't see this coming?




To be fair, she's a decent illustrator. But as the judges pointed out, there's simply not a lot of depth to her work. She doesn't seem to know who she is or what she wants to express yet. Maybe that'll come to her in time; she's pretty young. But her time had run out for this competition.

We don't get this at all and have pretty much nothing else to say about it. It's just...odd. We felt a little vindicated because the judges all seemed at a loss for words too.


[Screencaps:projectrungay.blogspot.com - Photo Credit: BravoTV.com]

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