Persons Unknown S1E5

"She tried to kill me!"
"Who?"
"That crazy bitch!"
"Which one?"

WOW.

So much happened in last night's episode that we're going to do a strict recap, something we don't normally do, just to keep it all straight in out heads.

We open with former insulting Asian stereotype Tom, who is checking in on the mostly sleeping abductees and quoting Sandburg's "Wilderness." Joe strides into the hidden room and they converse a bit about the status quo. We find out that Tom is being monitored, just like the abductees are. We also find out that Joe has feelings for Janet. "There's something about her."

The next morning, the abductees realize that Tori is missing. Moira wants to believe that she got out alive. They find new abductee Erika, who is creepily dressed in Tori's polka dot dress and a blonde wig. Erika wakes up and goes full-on action hero on their asses, taking down Joe and Janet (although interestingly, she seemed to have a harder time taking down Janet).

She jumps out a hotel window and and makes her way to the street, stealing a knife out of the Chinese restaurant kitchen, much to Tom's creepy amusement. Eventually, Janet and Erika find themselves locked inside the bank vault with only about 20 minutes of air left. They bond over bad men and bad decisions. Turns out Erika was a convicted criminal with an 11-year-old son in foster care whose last memory is of being given her fatal injection by the State of Texas. As last-chance stories go, she's the current champion.

Meanwhile, Joe and Graham are outside the bank vault, somewhat stupidly trying to use a pick and a crow bar to get through steel-reinforced concrete. Joe leaves, saying he's going to get some help. He storms through the hotel lobby, presses a numeric code into the elevator buttons and the doors slide shut. Moira sees the whole thing and notices that the floor indicator doesn't move on the elevator.

Down below (apparently the Chinese restaurant's freezer and the hotel's basement all meet up at the same place) he confronts Tom about the situation. Joe notes that the current situation isn't part of the protocol and Tom mentions that it's a "slight modification." When Joe demands he stop what he's doing, Tom says he can't stop it "until we have a result" or until their oxygen runs out. "You can't help her, Joe. You've gotta let it play out." Joe decides that's not good enough, gets the better of Tom and then forces him to release Janet and Erika from the vault. He smashes the keyboard on the way out.

Meanwhile, Tori is dead. Her body is found floating in a fountain in Italy. Her father identifies her body and appears grief-stricken. Later, Mark (reporter dude) sees a news report about it and makes the huge leap that it has something to do with Janet's abduction. Interestingly, Moira sees a news report on one of those very conveniently placed television sets in town that shows Tori surrounded by paparazzi and her father telling the press he's happy it's all over and she's been found. Hmmm. Daddy later gets a mysterious phone call from someone with a British (possibly Scottish to our American ears) accent. He informs said person unknown that he's done with their little charade and they inform him he's not.

Back in Unknown-ville, Janet and Erika have fully bonded and Erika tells Janet that she's got her back, "no matter what." Here's the thing about that: we're more convinced than ever that something just isn't quite right with Janet. To be fair, something's not quite right about any of them, but we have a feeling that Janet is hiding some major pieces of information about herself. For one, she certainly had no trouble subduing a dangerous, presumably murderous hardened criminal with a knife to her throat. We're supposed to believe that Erika is such a tough chickie (and we do believe that), but single mom Janet manages to best her in hand to hand.

We haven't spent any time in prison, but we understand that the best way to forge bonds and get protection is to find the toughest person and make sure they owe you one. That is almost exactly what Janet seemed to do. Granted, Janet didn't make the vault doors close, but she took the opportunity and ran with it. All we're saying is Janet's got us mighty suspicious. Interesting to note that Erika doesn't trust Joe.

Then again, neither does Moira, it seems. It was pretty reckless of Joe to pull that stunt with the elevators out in the open, just as it was reckless to say he was "going for help" to Graham and then return just after the vault doors opened. Graham seemed to already have his suspicions, but it looks like he and Moira are going to put their heads together and figure out that Joe isn't one of them. Interesting to note that Moira, when she was writing on her crazy-person wall, brought up Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None." Like we've said before, to the show's credit, they're very upfront about their inspirations. Although we rolled our eyes at Graham's flashback, which was about as cliche as soldier flashbacks get.

Anyway, Joe is being held by Tom in the secret room and angrily tells him that he really screwed things up this time. "This is OUR test. You put us both in danger." Wait, so who exactly is/are the subject(s) of this little experiment? Is it Tom and Joe or everyone else? And who's in charge?

Back in the San Fran, Mark visits with his daughter, introduces himself to his former mother-in-law and promises them both he'll find Janet. Poor guy's doomed.

And finally, Bill, the DUCS got his ass kicked once again and we will happily watch that every single week.

As for analysis, honeys, after that info dump, YOU figure it out. We have more questions than ever. But we're still giving Janet the stinkeye.

Here's the full episode, in case you missed it.


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